When I was still a wee child trying to come to terms with my gender and sexual orientation, what really kept me going was the notion that once I was ‘out’ I could finally be a part of the Queer Community. Which meant that even if the straights and the ‘normal’ people pushed me aside, I would always have these people who were like me backing me up.
So with time I slowly came out to my friends, some were supportive, others just could not wrap their heads around it. They felt that who I was attracted to put a damper on our friendship. On the bright side, from then on I could surround myself with people who knew me and cared about me regardless.
But here’s the catch… I was never welcomed into the Community I had looked up to for so long.
I joined my University’s LGBTQ group, I attended events, only to be pushed aside. They had already made friends with each other, I was the outsider. And as someone with social anxiety, it wasn’t easy for me to even try talking to them.
So I set my heart on the online Community. Maybe the problem was that the like-minded people were at the other ends of the Earth.
There is no such thing as a Queer Community. If there is support then it’s few and far between.
When ‘Same Love’ by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, ft. Mary Lambert came out, I was overjoyed. A mainstream group was releasing a song, an ANTHEM, for queer people. It’s a song about love being blind, that a ‘certificate on paper isn’t going to solve it all, BUT IT’S A DAMNED GOOD WAY TO START’.
Even better, the 2014 Grammy Awards and this ANTHEM is playing and Queen Latifah is marrying couples, regardless if they’re gay or straight. And I just stared at my screen and thought ‘this is awesome!’
I go online, wondering if others felt the same way.
I saw queer people complaining, saying that the song is a bad one. Guess why? Because Macklemore is a white rapper…. This particular person wanted Lamar to win the grammy, not Macklemore. Fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you still can’t hate on someone for the colour of their skin.
Also, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, as well as Mary Lambert definitely did not use this song for publicity. Why is it that we want Straight Allies, or Straight people who realise that Gay marriage is just marriage, and legal same-sex marriage is a human right, not a privilege. But then, a chart-topping song is released, you can hear it on the radio, and feel the strength in the words, but you hate it. You hate that it was someone straight who released that song.
So I’ve officially given up on the Queer ‘Community’. Just because someone is LGBTQ doesn’t mean that they’re automatically your friend, or that you’ll feel the same way about issues that should affect you both.