I should be studying for Finals right now, but after reading the article on PinkNews entitled :
Articles criticised for claiming that R Kelly’s trans son is transitioning as part of a ‘trans guy trend’
I realised that this post can’t wait. Because it’s the 21st Century, and yet you’ll find ‘journalists’ and people who will intentionally misgender another person without ever taking into consideration the repercussions of what they’re doing.
But really, what’s in a pronoun? So what if someone uses the wrong pronoun in relation to someone who isn’t even biologically the gender with which they identify?
Well my darling stuck-in-the-dark-ages, it actually matters a lot. First, never assume that gender and sex are the same thing. Genitalia don’t make you male or female. Genitalia don’t make you anything, just a reproductive animal.
Second, gender is how you feel inside, it’s what you identify as, and on the outside is how you choose to express how you feel inside.
So now to why does it matter if the wrong pronoun is used? Let’s use the example: you identify as a female, you are a woman. But you go shopping and the woman behind the counter tells you ‘thank you SIR‘
Ok, slightly annoyed, but you let it go and politely correct them.
You go to buy groceries, the man behind the counter tells you ‘thank you, SIR‘
You’re a bit more annoyed now. You can’t understand how these people can’t see that you’re a female, and you can’t see why they’re not calling you ma’am.
Now imagine this happening all the time, every second of every day. Even though you can’t possibly make it clearer that you identify as a woman. That you want to be called ‘she‘.
When you misgender someone, you’re basically saying, I do not care about your feelings. You’re ignoring the pain that comes with being misgendered, with feeling as though you are in the wrong body.
Dysphoria (which I will explain more fully at a later stage) is basically the feeling that you are in the wrong body, that some parts of you are missing, or extra. When you use the wrong pronoun you risk bringing up that dysphoria again.
So please, if someone is trans, or asks you to use a particular pronoun, please make an effort to use it. It will really mean a lot to them.
Also, while we’re on topic, my personal pronouns are Zie/Zer. Ex:
‘I’ve never seen zer at the cinama’ and ‘Zie looked really happy’.