Trans* Sex – The other side of sex

When your sexual orientation is anything other than straight, you already start to feel that you’ll never have sex because you’re never going to find someone who loves you and feels the same way as you./ But when you’re trans* you feel this way much much more. Why? Because the entire experience is different. Imagine you’re a trans* person who has the female genital organs, but you identify more as male, and you’re dating someone who is a cisgender female. You will need to tell her that you don’t want her to penetrate you, and that you prefer being on top because it makes you feel more like a cis man. And that’s just positioning. Then there’s other stuff, like wanting to make your partner orgasm just through grinding. If you’re born with female parts, but you constantly feel that you have a penis (read more on gender dysphoria), then you would want nothing more than to make your partner orgasm with your genitals, hence, grinding.

So what I’m going to say is: don’t be foolish! You will have sex (if you want to). You will find people who will love you for you. Love is meant to be unconditional, which means that if you wouldn’t like to be penetrated, then your partner wont penetrate. Sometimes your partner will find this too hard. They wouldn’t want to change the way they have sex, or maybe the way they enjoy sex is exactly the way you hate it. So you have two options: compromise, or maybe come to terms with that fact that the relationship wouldn’t work out. I’m not saying that sex is the most important factor in a relationship, but if the two partners are sexual beings, then we need to face the facts that sometimes relationships can end because of sex. There’s nothing wrong about that. It’s best to come to terms with this early on, so as not to waste more time.

So anyway, back to sex. There are various ways that a trans* person enjoys sex. So just try new things, try push your boundaries. The important thing is to do it with someone you can trust and feel safe to be vulnerable with. If there’s something you don’t like, speak up. The essential thing in sexual expression is communication. Be open with your partners about what you like and don’t like, and also what you’d like to do to your partner. Sometimes roleplaying and dirty talk can work wonders.

Go Forth and Have Good, Mindblowing, Safe Sex!

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