Why I Need Gay Friends

So in previous posts I spoke about how I don’t really click with people who are LGBTQ. It’s something I’m still trying to understand, but for the most part I noticed that it is because when I’m in a group of LGBTQ people, I’m expected to act a particular way. I see my gay male friends, who are so flamboyant, and pretty much scream about how much sex they’re having with men they don’t even know. And with my female gay friends it’s always about which bitch broke up with which friend, and how she just wants to have sex with her long-distance girlfriend.

It’s never about *normal* stuff. Stuff that is unrelated to sex or relationships.

Most of the time I just want to speak about games, writing, art and music. Things I find fun and relaxing. Stuff that allows me to connect with the person with whom I am speaking.

But now I’ve reached a dilemma. When I’m with my heterosexual friends, and they start talking about their crush of the opposite sex. And whenever I do join in (because I’m pansexual, and also because I’m not blind), they get confused and want to know if I’m bisexual, and ‘since when do I like the opposite sex’. So I generally just remain silent and let them gush about their crushes, which then leads to the awkward situation where I’m just sitting down quietly and everyone else is chatting away.

I realised that in these situations it’s not even right for me to gush about any of my same-sex crushes, because then I would be making my straight friends uncomfortable, even though they’re allowed to do that with me.

I don’t have this problem with my LGBTQ friends, because for them my same-sex attraction is normal. They experience it too. For my hetero friends it’s not normal. Subconsciously, they’re still trying to come to terms with it.

To be honest, there are like two straight people I’m friends with [out of like a million] who are comfortable with me speaking about attractive people of my same sex. They treat it as something normal and expected.

So anyway, this got me thinking about how difficult it is for LGBTQ people to even make and keep friends. And why it’s so important for the community to become an actual…community. Where topics aren’t just LGBTQ-related, but where the community can actually discuss things outside the rainbow world. And also discuss rainbow-related things whenever they feel like. Like a normal community.

Lets face it, straight people don’t stay talking about sexuality (they never had to, and I’m not saying we should stop), what I’m saying is balance it out. Cause if we don’t want people to just see us as a sexual orientation, then maybe we should start making them listen to us as people, and not as a walking sexual orientation.


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