Russia and Gay Marriage – Putin’s reasons

According to a new biography, ‘Cameron at 10’, Prime minister David Cameron and Vladimir Putin had a ‘candid’ discussion on gay rights late at night during a G20 meeting in 2013. According to the biography, it was more of a ‘bickerfest’ rather than a discussion.

Putin stated that should gay people be allowed to marry in Russia, the percentage of children in the country would reduce drastically, and there wouldn’t be enough children to support Russia in the future. Well…

  1. Has he never met a gay/lesbian couple and their never ending quest to have children? Being gay doesn’t generally remove your desire to have children. So this is kind of an invalid argument.
  2. Considering the number of children in orphanages (who are treated pretty badly according to research), maybe less children may be a good idea? So that they’re not just abandoned at a random orphanage. or…even better….
  3. Gay people could adopt children in orphanages. Now wouldn’t that be fantastic? Couple gets child, child gets a loving family? No? ok. I did some research, and reality is that Russia won’t let gay couples from abroad adopt Russian children. According to a newspaper article, when Malta (a tiny island in the Mediterranean sea which adopts a lot of Russian children) was discussing civil unions [which is now legal there], Russia threatened Malta that should the law pass, they would no longer let Maltese people adopt Russian children. So not only are they ‘punishing’ gay people for …. being gay, they are also punishing and neglecting babies from a loving family.

Needless to say, I find Putin’s excuse (should this be the real reason, which I doubt) empty. And like I said, it’s probably not even the real reason, if it is, then he didn’t really put much thought into it. Which I guess is even worse.

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Hypocrisy at its Best

I couldn’t help but follow the Duggar Scandal going on. For those of you who (thankfully) never heard of the show ’19 and Counting’, the Duggars are highly conservative, patriarchal Christians. They don’t approve of things like women wearing short sleeves or short skirts, and they definitely do not approve of kissing before marriage. That stuff is just not done. To be sure that nothing like the sort happens, unmarried couples need to be chaperoned… well…

The eldest boy, Josh, got into a bit of trouble a few years back. When he was 12, he sexually assaulted a bunch of girls…including his own sisters. What makes it even worse is that his own parents knew of this and hid it for a few years before realising how disgusting and horrifying they were and reported it to the police.

So why bring it up now? Well, when you’re such a conservative family, who basically declare that everyone else is going to hell, then you wouldn’t really expect for them to not only have a son who sexually assaulted girls, including his own siblings, or to hide it once they found out. What happened to ‘God’ seeing all and judging all?

Another point which I’d like to make is that this family, with all its hypocrisies is fundamentally flawed. First off, the bunch of children they are spewing out is ridiculous. It feels like they made it their personal mission to populate the Earth alone. And with all those children, how much time are you actually using to parent them, to teach them, to listen to them? Or is the focus to hope that god will educate them and show them right from wrong?

Secondly, the exaggerated amount of rules they have for women is insane. So women cannot show their elbows? And why can’t they? Because they’re afraid it would be too much for men to handle and control themselves? That sort of reasoning is one of the various flaws we have in our general thinking, which we can see perpetuated even in schools, where girls are sent home because they are dressed in such a way which would ‘distract the boys’. Which not only tells women that they need to always accommodate men, or that men cannot control themselves ‘cause boys will be boys’, but it also ingrains in them the thought that their education does not matter as much as a boy’s.

So what happened here with Josh Duggar? He was 12, starting to hit puberty, felt sexual urges which no one would discuss with him at home. So he followed those urges. Is this excusable? Definitely not. But his family philosophy is that boys are right, girls are wrong. Boys are superior, girls are inferior. He wanted to touch a girl’s breast? He can trust that breast.

His parents ingrain this superiority complex even more when they choose to protect him to the detriment of their own daughters. Who are also their flesh and blood. No, they’re fine with not tending to their psychological and emotional needs, because they have just been sexually abused, just so that they can protect their prized boy.

This isn’t just a case of a 12 year old boy sexually abusing girls and being inappropriate (to say the least). This is a case which perfectly shows how society allows this to happen by turning a blind eye. Lets face it, the second Kim Kardashian filed for a divorce a mere 72-hours after her wedding, everyone heard about it. But how many heard of this case of a man sexually assaulting women, and how many cared to learn more and criticise the story. Yes, 19 and counting has been removed from the air, but I haven’t been reading many people commenting on the bigger picture. And I have yet to hear people from the conservative community criticising these actions.

Historic Gender Identity Law

How many of you know where Malta is?

It’s basically this gorgeous tiny little island under Sicily. Its constitution declares that it’s a Catholic State.

So why am I mentioning it today?

Cause yesterday Malta passed a law called the Gender Identity, Gender Expression and Sex Characteristics Act (GIGESC). This law is groundbreaking on a global scale. So what does this new legislation comprise of?

1. Transgender people no longer need to a) divorce, b) go through sterlisation/surgery or c) be diagnosed with a mental illness to change their gender and name legally on all their documents.

2. For babies born Intersex, parents can put an ‘X’ marker on the child’s birth certificate up to the age of 18! Yes! That means that Intersex people will no longer have to go through invasive surgeries and/or hormone treatments without their informed consent. So when the child is certain of their gender, then they can change their documents. AMAZING

3. Minors who are trans* can ALSO change their documents legally. Naturally, given their young age they would need to be seen by a board of experts, made up a psychiatrist, social worker etc. NOT to classify the child with a mental illness, but to make sure the child is aware of what it wants.

4. No employer can reject a trans* person from employment just because they are trans*. Everyone must be respected, and should this law be infringed then there would be a fine.

To make all this even better, Malta is working on an education policy for schools to become more accepting and understanding of diversity and for students.to become accepting of their peers, but also if they themselves feel that they may be trans*, then they would be given the needed support.

And another cool thing for us non-binary and genderqueer etc folk? Malta is working to get the X marker permanently on legal documents. That’s right. Should this succeed, Maltese people would no longer have to choose to become part of the binary! They can choose to just be listed with an X marker.

This stuff is so cool.

KUDOS MALTA!

My family is synthetic

Dolce and Gabbana, pretty popular in the fashion sphere, and have come under fire lately for a comment they made where they referred to children raised by same-sex parents as ‘synthetic’. Sir Elton John, who has 2 children with his husband asked for people to boycott D&G for their comments.

So here’s my take on it.

Children of same-sex parents are not synthetic. That is a ridiculous notion. Anyone who knows biology knows that you need a sperm and an ovum to create a baby, as far as I know, even in IVF practices, both of these are used, and these germ cells (as they’re called) are never just ‘created’ in a lab. That in itself means that the child is not ‘fake’ or ‘synthetic’ as Mr D and Mr G called it.

Following the boycott, where various out parent celebrities joined in, D&G said that what they meant was that they only believe in the ‘traditional’ family and that they can have their opinions. To which I say, of course you do. Freedom of speech is for everyone. But…you still need to be careful about how you say things. Saying that you think children should be raised by a mother and father is very different from calling children raised by same-sex parents ‘fake’. No child is fake. And when science advances enough to allow same-sex parents to BOTH be biological parents of the child, those children will not be fake either. So long as the sex cells are natural, then it doesn’t matter how the baby is formed. But maybe I’m too liberal for D&G.

On another note, while I believe that everyone has their own opinions and are entitled to them, I find it very strange to hear homosexual people speaking against things such as same-sex people getting married and having children. As a homosexual you’re supposed to understand the pain and suffering people in the LGBTQ community go through just because of their sexuality. And if you’re a homosexual, do you really feel that you and a partner of yours would not be suitable parents for a child?

Either way, to each his own.

New Header

So it’s a sunday here, which is traditionally referred to as ‘lazy sunday’ or ‘sunday funday’… So since I had some time on my hands (which is a very rare occurrence trust me) I decided to stay playing around with some graphics to create a new header.

nonbinaryplasma
VOILAAAAAAAA

If you’re an avid follower of this blog (and let’s face it, why wouldn’t you be) … first off, I love you guys, and second, you’d probably have realised that I’m continuously changing the style and colours. I like changing things up once in a while, but I kinda like how it’s looking right now so I think it will remain this way for a while.

As always, if there’s something that annoys you just let me know. I love constructive criticism…while I drown my sorrows in pizza. I think I hear the doorbell………

I intend to come back with a bang!

And to do this, I’d like to get some feedback from you guys! Basically, what content are you looking for?

 

 

Much love xx

Why heteronormativity and Cisnormativity is a thing

Ok first up, what the hell are these words?

Heteronormativity – The assumption that everyone we meet is heterosexual (straight). This can be done consciously or subconsciously. If you’re a straight female and the first thing you think when you see a handsome man is ‘I wonder if he has a girlfriend’, then you’re thinking in a heteronormative way – you think he is straight. This can be subconscious, cause let’s face it, you kinda are hope he’s striaght.

Cisnormativity – the assumption that everyone you meet is cisgender. This means that those people’s sex and gender match. Ie. Born biologically male and identifies as male as well. If you see a guy in trousers and automatically assume he’s cisgender then you cisnormative.

Ok, now I’m not saying that every time you meet someone new you have to analyse them. No way. But generally that’s what we do, we analyse people: good dressers, clean hair, neat, fashionable, voice intonation – we judge the person based on everything we can see and hear.

What we rarely seem to think is : I wonder if they identify as queer. Usually what happens is: they look like a girl, so girl; they look like a boy, so boy. When really this is all bogus. Yes, everyone would like to assume that people who are not cisgender would look it. We focus on how well they can ‘pass’ or be ‘read’. But what about people who are non-binary? therefore don’t identify as male or female? Maybe they are somewhere in the middle, or completely off the spectrum? The person may look feminine, may wear skirts, but that person is not necessarily cisgender.

So lesson 1: don’t assume people are straight or cisgender – your best friend could be homosexual or trans/queer, so can your teacher, or the person you sat next to on the bus.

Now, why is it a problem if people are heteronormative or cisnormative?

Well, a variety of reasons.

1. Don’t make coming out harder than it already is. By being assumed to be one way, people find it even harder to reveal their true selves because they feel that they are not matching the expectations of the people around them. So make it easier for the people you care about who may be desperately trying to come out to you: don’t assume.

2. It friggen hurts. As someone who isn’t ‘out’ as non-binary, it’s annoying/hurtful for me to be referred to as a female (born biologically female). Even though I dress quite androgynously, no one ever thinks that I could be queer. Instead, they automatically assume I am lesbian.. which I’m not. I’m pansexual.

3. The assumption game is always wrong. Assuming is one of the worst things we can do as people. Othello assumed he could trust Iago, he assumed his wife was cheating on him…well that didn’t end well. Romeo assumed that Juliet was dead when in reality she was passed out from that drug she took. You assumed your friend or partner meant one thing when they really said something else, and a fight ensued.

Assuming is never helpful, to anyone. If in doubt, ask. I’d rather have people ask me what I identify as, rather than take being a girl as a given.

This is the same for intersex people. Intersex means having genitals which are “intermediate between male and female”. What happens is when the baby is born, a gender is chosen for them, to quote Masters of Sex “A hole is easier than a pole”. So these children would grow up to be perceived/assumed as a particular gender, when in reality they would not identify that way. By assuming they are a particular gender you are cancelling out a part of their existence.

Lesson 2: Don’t assume – yes I know this is same as lesson 1, but seriously can’t stress it enough.