Russia and Gay Marriage – Putin’s reasons

According to a new biography, ‘Cameron at 10’, Prime minister David Cameron and Vladimir Putin had a ‘candid’ discussion on gay rights late at night during a G20 meeting in 2013. According to the biography, it was more of a ‘bickerfest’ rather than a discussion.

Putin stated that should gay people be allowed to marry in Russia, the percentage of children in the country would reduce drastically, and there wouldn’t be enough children to support Russia in the future. Well…

  1. Has he never met a gay/lesbian couple and their never ending quest to have children? Being gay doesn’t generally remove your desire to have children. So this is kind of an invalid argument.
  2. Considering the number of children in orphanages (who are treated pretty badly according to research), maybe less children may be a good idea? So that they’re not just abandoned at a random orphanage. or…even better….
  3. Gay people could adopt children in orphanages. Now wouldn’t that be fantastic? Couple gets child, child gets a loving family? No? ok. I did some research, and reality is that Russia won’t let gay couples from abroad adopt Russian children. According to a newspaper article, when Malta (a tiny island in the Mediterranean sea which adopts a lot of Russian children) was discussing civil unions [which is now legal there], Russia threatened Malta that should the law pass, they would no longer let Maltese people adopt Russian children. So not only are they ‘punishing’ gay people for …. being gay, they are also punishing and neglecting babies from a loving family.

Needless to say, I find Putin’s excuse (should this be the real reason, which I doubt) empty. And like I said, it’s probably not even the real reason, if it is, then he didn’t really put much thought into it. Which I guess is even worse.


Religion and Homosexuality

Currently, the main religions of the world (I’m going with Christianity, Judaism and Islam), see homosexuality, and homosexual ‘acts’ as a sin. Each religion has its own way of punishing these ‘sinners’, but the most annoying thing is that people feel that their religion is justification for hurting someone else, regardless of if they are of the same faith.

And even if you are of the same faith, how can that allow you to treat someone else as a lesser human being? Or justify you hurting them?

I’ve studied up on various religions and philosophies, and from what I gathered, the main thing about ‘god’ or let’s just say ‘higher power’ is that this being loves all humans equally and without discrimination. So in that case, how can this higher being then be ok with the way homosexuals are treated?

In all honesty, if you are homosexual and you’re religious too, then embrace it. You are one of the few people who actually understand that your god/higher power does not hate you for being in love. Higher powers will never discriminate against love between two consenting adults.

So if higher powers don’t discriminate against it, why should we? 

What is identity?

Simply put, your identity is everything about you. Therefore, this comprises your sexuality, gender and gender expression. So what’s the difference between them?


Your sexuality involves what kind of people you are attracted to, sexually or just romantically (if you are only ever romantically attracted to someone, then you are asexual, which is a sexuality in itself). It also involves what stuff turns you on. Are you more into traditional stuff, or do you prefer to be more adventurous in that department. This is all personal, and as long as you are not harming yourself or the other person(s) then no one can tell you it’s wrong.


This basically means what you identify as. Do you identify as male, female, non-binary, agender (no gender), bi-gender (2 genders), demi or whatever? All are legit. Once again this is private, and honestly, no one has to know your gender unless you tell them. Of course, it can be uncomfortable for people to just take a look at you and label you a gender or the other, but really, it’s up to you whether or not to tell them. Think about your safety first.

Gender Expression

This is basically how you project yourself to the world. For example, you may identify as male, but express yourself in more traditional feminine ways (such as being very sensitive and calming). You could also project yourself in the traditional way, for example, you identify as female and project your gender in traditionally feminine ways.

Other forms of gender expression can involve clothing – so wearing clothes which make you feel like you. 

For trans* and non-binary people who experience dysphoria, our gender expression can help us keep that dysphoria at bay. Because even if we are misgendered, at least with our clothing we are trying to tell the world what kind of people we are. Do we like cute things, or are we more hardcore, do we wear bright colours, or are we more nondescript. Even if you do not experience dysphoria, clothing and body language are the perfect ways to subtly express to people who you are…and if they are attentive, they will pick it up.

So with all of these things (and other stuff, like likes and dislikes etc) comprise your identity. For this reason, no one should look at one aspect of you (say your sexuality) and judge you – because it is not all that there is to you. So if someone actually does judge you because of one aspect of who you are, then they are not worth it. People should get to know your full identity first before they can make a judgement of how nice you are as a person.

Dear Parents

It’s not your fault, your child being gay has nothing to do with your parenting skills, or because you didn’t buy them that one toy they wanted when they were 5. 

They were born that way.

And no, your genes are not to blame.
Let’s face it. it’s no one’s fault, because it’s not actually a bad thing. There are so many things which a child could do or be – addicts, vandals, members of a gang, pregnant/parents at a young age, before they’ve even had a chance to be children themselves. Being gay does not belong in this list.
You don’t want them to be gay because the life is tough? well, everyone faces their own struggles everyday. Yes, in certain places being gay is even more of a struggle, where hurdles can be found everywhere: in their personal life and even at work. So be a parent and support them more. They’re going to need it, don’t be part of the club which makes their life an even harder one. 

You have a problem with your child’s desire to get married and have children? it’s unnatural?

Who decides what is unnatural? Biracial marriages were unnatural just 50 or so years ago. Would you still consider it unnatural? 

Do you really think God (or whoever you believe in – if at all) would be opposed to love? Love is love, no matter the gender of the adults involved. Is it consensual? if it is, then great, it’s love. 
And not all heterosexuals can have children ‘naturally’. That’s what IVF techniques and adoption are there for. Does that make them any less of a parent? Not in the slightest. The same applies to a gay person who becomes a parent. It is the way you parent them, even today, which will show them how they should raise their own children.

Anti-gay preacher accuses LGBTQI community

Al Haddad, an anti-gay preacher, sits on the board of the Islamic Shariah Council, and in “Standing up against Homosexuality”, he wrote on the “the scourge of homosexuality”, calling it a “criminal act”.

He responded to calls for him to be banned from speaking at the University of Westminster, saying: “This is a completely misplaced campaign. The event has nothing to do with Islam’s position on homosexuality yet this is the focus of their complaint. There is a clear attempt being made to almost criminalise certain aspects of being a Muslim. In the religion of Islam it is clear-cut that homosexual acts are a sin and are unlawful in the Shariah. Trying to censor lawful speech does not change this fact.”

“I do not believe the views I hold are much different to those of orthodox Christian or Jewish religious leaders. I have only ever engaged in lawful speech and have never been prosecuted for hate speech or inciting hatred. I would remind those who initiated this campaign that this country is supposed to be based on freedom of religious belief and expression. I am a strong believer in dialogue, regrettably the LGBTI society wants to shut it down.”

via Anti-gay preacher: The LGBT community is trying to ‘shut down’ my ‘dialogue’ · PinkNews.


Now I’m all for freedom of speech. However, i disagree with him calling it a ‘dialogue’. When you speak out AGAINST something with such fervour, that’s not dialogue. That’s spreading hatred.

Second, honestly I don’t care what your religion tells you. It’s your religion, not necessarily mine.  We need to stop making laws based on religion and instead focus on laws which are relevant to the human person. Will criminalising the ‘homosexual act’ help anyone? Let’s face it, no, it wont. I don’t like clowns, but doesn’t mean they should be made illegal just cause they make me uncomfortable.

Are two adults in a consenting relationship wrong? anyone with a braincell will tell you no.

So should it be illegal? no, it shouldn’t.

That’s the dialogue. Not ‘my hold book says this’ or ‘my morals and beliefs say this’. Guys, start talking facts.



Ticking boxes on forms

So I was thinking, how important is it for people to know our gender? When applying for anything one of the first boxes we have to tick is the one identifying our gender. Or to be more specific, our genitals. Because these questions generally will only have the options: Male or Female. So you’re not asking me for my gender, but for what I have between my legs. The question is, why?

Is it for surveys? Well, knowing my genitals won’t help you there. Because while I may have genitials A, my mindset can be Z….so you cannot really throw me in with everyone else who has genitals A, because their mindset may be A as well.

So why the hell do we need to mark a box which states our genitals? because in today’s world everything has to be gendered. Did you know there are APPLES for girls and boys. Because they cannot POSSIBLY have the same kind of apples. The applies for girls have to be dainty, and boy apples have to be rough and strong I guess.


Start looking around you. Notice these things. Notice how the first thing we notice about a person is whether or not they’re a girl or a boy. How clothing stores have sections for men and women…so I have a vagina I always have to buy sequined shirts as opposed to the shirts in the men’s section?

Our sexual characteristics are given to us by nature, but gender is completely man-made. It’s the perfect example of the human obsession to label things, and put everything into boxes. It’s up to us now to fight that with all our might. Because we can’t be put into a box, and anyone who accepts to be put in one is only missing out on their full potential.

Trans* Sex – The other side of sex

When your sexual orientation is anything other than straight, you already start to feel that you’ll never have sex because you’re never going to find someone who loves you and feels the same way as you./ But when you’re trans* you feel this way much much more. Why? Because the entire experience is different. Imagine you’re a trans* person who has the female genital organs, but you identify more as male, and you’re dating someone who is a cisgender female. You will need to tell her that you don’t want her to penetrate you, and that you prefer being on top because it makes you feel more like a cis man. And that’s just positioning. Then there’s other stuff, like wanting to make your partner orgasm just through grinding. If you’re born with female parts, but you constantly feel that you have a penis (read more on gender dysphoria), then you would want nothing more than to make your partner orgasm with your genitals, hence, grinding.

So what I’m going to say is: don’t be foolish! You will have sex (if you want to). You will find people who will love you for you. Love is meant to be unconditional, which means that if you wouldn’t like to be penetrated, then your partner wont penetrate. Sometimes your partner will find this too hard. They wouldn’t want to change the way they have sex, or maybe the way they enjoy sex is exactly the way you hate it. So you have two options: compromise, or maybe come to terms with that fact that the relationship wouldn’t work out. I’m not saying that sex is the most important factor in a relationship, but if the two partners are sexual beings, then we need to face the facts that sometimes relationships can end because of sex. There’s nothing wrong about that. It’s best to come to terms with this early on, so as not to waste more time.

So anyway, back to sex. There are various ways that a trans* person enjoys sex. So just try new things, try push your boundaries. The important thing is to do it with someone you can trust and feel safe to be vulnerable with. If there’s something you don’t like, speak up. The essential thing in sexual expression is communication. Be open with your partners about what you like and don’t like, and also what you’d like to do to your partner. Sometimes roleplaying and dirty talk can work wonders.

Go Forth and Have Good, Mindblowing, Safe Sex!