Dear Parents

It’s not your fault, your child being gay has nothing to do with your parenting skills, or because you didn’t buy them that one toy they wanted when they were 5. 

They were born that way.

And no, your genes are not to blame.
Let’s face it. it’s no one’s fault, because it’s not actually a bad thing. There are so many things which a child could do or be – addicts, vandals, members of a gang, pregnant/parents at a young age, before they’ve even had a chance to be children themselves. Being gay does not belong in this list.
You don’t want them to be gay because the life is tough? well, everyone faces their own struggles everyday. Yes, in certain places being gay is even more of a struggle, where hurdles can be found everywhere: in their personal life and even at work. So be a parent and support them more. They’re going to need it, don’t be part of the club which makes their life an even harder one. 

You have a problem with your child’s desire to get married and have children? it’s unnatural?

Who decides what is unnatural? Biracial marriages were unnatural just 50 or so years ago. Would you still consider it unnatural? 

Do you really think God (or whoever you believe in – if at all) would be opposed to love? Love is love, no matter the gender of the adults involved. Is it consensual? if it is, then great, it’s love. 
And not all heterosexuals can have children ‘naturally’. That’s what IVF techniques and adoption are there for. Does that make them any less of a parent? Not in the slightest. The same applies to a gay person who becomes a parent. It is the way you parent them, even today, which will show them how they should raise their own children.

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Faking It (Season 1)

If you haven’t heard of faking it, then sit your ass in front of your computer screen [oh right you’re already doing that…] and download the entire series!

But first, some backstory: Amy (played by the gorgeous Rita Volk) and Karma (played by the equally gorgeous Katie Stevens) are best friends. Like, utter best friends. Like, the kind of best friends you wish you could have but never will cause you’re not Rita nor Katie.

Anywayyy  

Amy and Karma aren’t that popular [read: at all] – which is strange cause…look at them. But Karma desperately wants to be popular, so she drags Amy to a huge party. At the party, Shane (Michael J. Willet) – who is probably the most fabulous gay man on television right now – mistakes Amy and Karma for lesbian lovers. I mean, they’re always together, they’re quiet, and Amy’s got a real butch style going on…so really, who could blame him. So what does this fabulous gay boy do?  He publicly outs them, in the hope of helping them come to terms with their sexuality.

Instantly people rejoice. Probably important to note here that this school is like, super gay friendly. It’s the ‘cool thing’ to be out and proud here. Homophobia is like, so a millenium ago.

damn you KARMY

Karma embraces her newfound popularity, especially since it helped her catch the eye of Liam Booker (read: booger), played by Gregg Sulkin, who apparently is the high school heartbreaker. So she begs Amy to pretend to be her lesbian lover. At first Amy just doesn’t want to go along with the lie, it’s too much of a drag…until she kisses Karma at the school assembly…fireworks go off, signalling the start of one of the best love triangles ever.

Shane you little cutie

Still not hooked? Watch the trailer here:

Anatomy of a Love Seen (2014)

So, this movie only got a 5.3/10 on IMDB, and those audiences are generally easy to please! Well, after watching this movie I cannot disagree with them. The entire story is easily forgettable, and there isn’t much to it except that two actresses: Zoe and Mal, fall in love while shooting a (guess) love scene! Cue quite a long montage of their blissful time together. However, Mal walks out on Zoe (which is strangely enough only revealed at the end of the entire movie), leaving her heart in shatters.

Pros:

  • The setting was quite bright, so I didn’t have to increase the brightness on my own laptop. But it gave it a fake hue.
  • The actresses are not hard on the eyes and they definitely know how to act
  • Story was simple, possibly verging on the too simple
  • Nice camera work
  • An easy watch
  • Can’t complain about the sex erm, the love scenes are done well.
  • Homosexuality is not a big deal. It’s just two women in love

Cons:

  • The brightness could come off as fake
  • Half the movie was long montages which I ended up phasing out of
  • The other half was of the director taking one of the actresses to the side for a pep talk, or to say that she loves her.
  • Dialogue is meh
  • Not much of a conclusion.

Overall, this is an easy watch for when you really want to see something lesbian without the drama of ‘oh my goddess, am I gay?’ or overly religious parents condemning their child to hell. But don’t expect any life changing moments.

Things I learnt after being in a relationship for 3 years (and counting)

This is going to be another personal post, so please bear with me. I hope that I can impart some of the things I learnt as a nonbinary person in a relationship with a cis female.


1. Be honest, not afraid

Ok yes this is a cliche. But it’s a true one. Don’t hide your true self because you’re afraid your other half won’t understand or accept you, if they really care about you (and love you) then they’ll do their utmost to understand and accept you as you are. After all, they fell in love with you already, the least you can do is be honest about your feelings and about who you are.

2. Solve fights 

Everyone fights. Frankly, I’m pretty sure you fought with your pet once or twice, so why should a relationship be any different? When you love someone fighting will end up coming naturally. You’ll disagree on whose turn it was to wash the dishes or fold the laundry, you’ll fight because you forgot that they had a really important date planned and you were late.. again. 

The trick to a healthy relationship is what happens after the fight … how well do you solve it? Communication is key. Talk it out with each other, have a good cry, kiss and move on (but make an effort to not make the same mistake twice). If you’re just going to mope about and remain angry with your partner then you’re not really going to achieve anything (except maybe a break up).

3. Laugh

Laughter makes the world go round, it unites people in ways nothing else can. Make your partner laugh as much as possible and they’ll be fooled into thinking that you’re the best thing on this planet. So be silly, dance in the rain, sing at the top of your lungs in the middle of an empty street. These are the memories you want them to cherish.

4. Touch each other as much as possible

Not (just) in the sexual way. Hold hands, hug, kiss, touch their face often. Hugging for long periods of time will release hormones which build the feeling of trust and safety in people. So make use of this trick and get hugging!

Besides, sometimes, words will never be enough, and a touch will be what your partner really needs from you to know you’re there.

5. Family is important, but don’t dwell on it

As most people in queer relationships know, acceptance isn’t easy to come by. While our straight and cisgender counterparts rarely have an issue in the parental/familial department, it is an all-too-often issue in ours. But the thing is, family isn’t everything. Normally your family will want what’s best for you. But the thing is, what they think is best for you is just their opinion. They will see your ‘lifestyle’ as too difficult, and wonder why you can’t just be ‘normal’ and have an easier life. Thing is, life is never easy, so at least you can go through this difficult life with the person you love. 

So respect your family, but don’t let it come between you and the person you love. At the end of the day, you know what’s best for you as well.

6. Take some alone time

Ah new relationships… when you just want to spend every moment together. It’s one of the most amazing things of a new relationship. Just don’t forget yourself. You may be in a relationship, but you’re also an individual. And to be an individual you need time to reflect on yourself and grow. In other words, do your own thing.

From a relationship point of view – one of the best ways to keep a relationship from becoming stagnant is to have exciting things to talk about. If you’re both spending every second of every day together, there isn’t much you can talk about is there?

7. Do stuff together

Ok yes I just said to do stuff alone… but do stuff together as well! The best way to get to know someone is to do things with them. Do they get frustrated or bored in queues ? Do they get road rage when driving? Do they laugh at the most inappropriate moments in a play?

Knowing someone’s past is extremely important, but knowing who they are as a person is possibly the most important thing of all.

8. Meet friends and have dates

A balance between a social life and a relationship is essential. Of course it depends on the two people involved in the relationship to determine how much weight to give the social circle and how much weight to give to date time. From experience, meeting friends is a good distraction for those bad phases and it’s also a good way for you guys to laugh together. But dates are important to just be romantic and sweet and are useful to reconnect with your partner.

9. Be Romantic

Sometimes a look in your eyes is enough to tell your special someone how much  you care, but other times, an over the top romantic gesture is what you truly need. Plan a surprise for your loved one, whisk them away to another city/island/whatever for a romantic day just with each other. And when you’re on a tight budget, switch off your phone and just cuddle with each other on a sofa. Quality time without the distractions of modern day technology can really tell someone that you care about them more than checking your facebook or tumblr for the millionth time.

10. Fall in love again, day after day. 

This may come as a shock to those who probably haven’t been in a relationship for long, but you will fall out of love. Sometimes the routine and daily life will grind you down and you stop appreciating the wonderful person you have with you. Pause yourself for a second, and take the time to realise what a great partner you have, make sure to appreciate them and every little thing they do for you. Like give you the last bite of cake, or take you to your favourite restaurant even though they may not have felt like Chinese food that night.

When a relationship lasts long, it means that the people involved manage to keep falling in love with each other, most of the time, they end up falling deeper and deeper in love every single day.


And this brings a close to this overly-mushy article/advice post! It’s obviously dedicated to the love of my life, who also happens to be my fiancee.

National Coming Out Day

The 11th of October is national coming out day. what’s the importance of this day one may ask? well :

1. it’s the day when people can feel that they can reveal themselves to their loved ones, to be who they are. some people need a push, and knowing that there are plenty of others who could be coming out today can really help.

2. it’s a good time to read other people’s coming out stories and being able to connect with them. If not cause of similarity then because these people had to make the same soul searching as you did or are doing.

Therefore, I would like to share my own coming out story with you.

my coming out spans quite a few years, but it started when I was around 11 and I started to realise that even though I would have crushes on boys, girls grabbed my attention much more. Of course, one quickly dismisses this as just friendship. I mean, it’s normal to always want to spend time with a friend, right?

Naturally, as my friends started to get boyfriends, and I did too, I realised that I wasn’t so interested in having a relationship with them. And so I started to do my research, I began reading and watching LGBT anime and movies and I started to really start wondering.

And then I had my very first huge, enormous really, crush on a girl. I was 15, and when this girl walked in I realised that all my other crushes were nothing in comparison. That year I came out to a close friend as Bisexual. I was still attracted to guys, so it made sense. This particular friend tried to accept me, but she focused more on how I could be into guys. It was as though she superficially accepted that I was into girls, but the fact that I was still into guys ‘won’.

Needless to say, we stopped being close.

The following year, after successfully getting over my crush, I met another girl. A gorgeous girl. I started to have bigger feelings for her, bigger than a normal crush. but we were very close friends and I began telling myself that I was only interested in her as a friend.

This was normal, I was merely connecting with her this much cause I had never been so open with someone before.

Well, that wasn’t the case.

For 11 months I could not get her off my mind. I accepted the fact that I liked her. I even came out to her as a lesbian. she had managed to take over my entire life to an extent where I couldn’t even imagine having a crush on a guy.

And then she asked me out.

Being over the moon doesn’t even express how I felt at the time (and still feel, because we’re still together to this day). so I guess my coming out story is over ? I met the girl of my dreams, I’m a lesbian, voila the end?

Nope.

Just because you’re in a loving relationship doesn’t mean your quest for self awareness ends. I started to realise that ‘lesbian’ doesn’t fit me. It didn’t mean that I loved my partner any less, it just wasn’t who I was. I realised that I had no interest in someone’s gender, I was attracted to them through their character. Cue some more research, and I realised I was pansexual.

Coming out as pansexual is definitely not an easy job, not when no one could understand the difference between bisexual and pansexual, but I did it. whenever my sexuality came up, I would politely say that no, I am not a lesbian, despite being in a relationship with a woman, I am pansexual. I love people because they’re people, and I love people because their character and personality appeal to me.

National coming out day isn’t just for sexual identity however, it’s also for gender identity. My coming out story here is quite short. Unfortunately where I live prevents me from being open about gender, so only my partner and one other person are aware of the fact that I am
non-binary. Once again, a lot of research and soul searching went in. But at least now I can say I know who I am.

Coming out isn’t just to other people, it’s also to yourself, and sometimes this is the most important thing to do.
One day, no one will ever have to ‘come out’, people will no longer be assumed to be straight or cis gendered. Instead children will take their partners home and their parents will just be happy to see their Child in a loving relationship.

Until that day!

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Yuri’s everyone must watch

Yuri is any anime which has some lady-loving involved. This can range from the blatantly obvious to incredibly-subtle-need-a-magnifying-glass-to-see-it. Here I’ll be listing my Yuri faves, in fact I’ll be updating the list quite frequently so make sure to check back if you’re craving a new yuri anime. Also, if you have any suggestions for me to watch, just let me know.

1. Blue Drop 

The perfect anime for the yuri lover who is also a fan of Science Fiction. Blue Drop (manga) focuses on the war between humanity and aliens, the anime on the other hand, focuses on life before the war. Our heroine, Mari, arrives at a girls’ dormitory (it’s ALWAYS a girl’s only dormitory isn’t it?), her baggage includes a few pieces of clothing…and a horrible past.

Here, Mari meets Hagino, who is basically loved by everyone…but for some reason she can’t stand being around Mari.

So obviously Mari can’t stop her attraction for her.

2. Aoi Hana

Seriously, if you haven’t watched this, you really have to. Not exaggerating. And read the manga too. Yes, it’s that good. Ok, it’s either great or I’m just a big mush when it comes to romance. Either or.

Aoi Hana follows the story of two childhood friends, who were separated at a young age cause one of them goes to live in another city. They quickly forget about one another…that is, until this friend comes back.

This is one of those classic coming of age stories, so expect some heart ache, a lot of self evaluation and a few funny moments too.

3. Candy Boy 

Some people may argue that this is not a yuri, I disagree. Candy Boy is super yuri. Maybe not in an explicit way, but it is definitely there in an ‘in-your-face’ way.

Just for the record, the title has absolutely nothing with the story. I have yet to figure out what the title is about and how it correlates to the story. Whatever.

They did selfies before they were popularized

The story is centered around twin sisters: Kanade and Yukino. Yes, this is twincest yuri. Speak about forbidden love.

This very short anime focuses on Kanade coming to terms with her feeling for her sister, and the struggle for them to remain as close as when they were young and living at home.

The manga delves more into the story, so if you enjoy the OVA, definitely check out the manga as well. Just watch the show with an open mind, it is seriously amazing (and frankly, quite addictive).

4. Sasameki Koto

Sasameki Koto, also known as ‘Whispered Words’, follows the lives of Sumika, a tall, athletic girl, and her best friend Ushio Kazama, an out and proud lesbian who could never understand what the big deal is about being into girls.

Unfortunately, because Kazama is so out and proud about her attraction to girls, she got bullied a lot, and that’s when Sumika stepped it. And tada! they’re best friends.

It is only after a while that Sumika starts to realise that maybe, just maybe, she may not see Kazama as just a friend. Don’t you just love struggling coming out stories?

You’d think the two would be perfect for one another, but unfortunately, Kazama is into ‘cute girls’, which Sumika, being strong and athletic, definitely doesn’t fall under.

This anime will have you at the edge of your seat, begging for more.

And more comes in the form of the Sasameki Koto manga, which is actually complete so you may feel free to binge watch, and then binge read until you’re fully satisfied (impossible).

5. Kannazuki no Miko

Another anime for the sci-fi lovers. Chikane and Himeko are two priestesses. And as with all sci-fi’s, the Earth is in danger, and it is up to the priestesses to protect it. I won’t spoil, but it is definitely an amazing anime which will make you think and even scream ‘NO’ at your screen a few times.

6. Strawberry Panic

Strawberry Panic is to the Yuri world, what The L Word is to the TV series world. It’s pretty much part of the lesbian culture to watch this. Once again, I have no idea how the title came to be. But let’s ignore that.

The story focuses on Nagisa, a new student at Astrea. On her first day she meets the mysterious and wonderful Shizuma, the most popular girl ever. Shizuma is instantly shown as a player, there’s pretty much no female this girl hasn’t pried upon, and her next prey is in fact, Nagisa.

Nagisa, being a good kid, doesn’t want to be another one of Shizuma’s conquests so she tries to resist the impeccable charm Shizuma has. Which she soon finds out is very difficult to resist. 

However, with time, Nagisa starts to discover what Shizuma is hiding about her past, and what is stopping her from loving ever again.

If you need any more reason to watch: the ending man. The ending will send your heart aflutter and bring tears of joy and happiness into your eyes.

Top Lesbian Movies

So it’s been a while since I wrote anything, mainly because it’s summer, which contrary to popular customs, means that I work two jobs and take care of the house, among other things.
But the great thing about summer is that I can also watch a movie at the most odd hours and no one would even bat an eye. So here, in no particular order, is a list of my favourite lady-loving movies:

1. I Can’t Think Straight

If this movie doesn’t make a list such as this one, then obviously that person has no idea what they’re saying. This film takes a lighter tone, incorporating that bollywood style of humour which is impossible not to laugh at.
The story centers around Tala, who is about to be married for like, the millionth time, and Leyla, a budding author who is dating a really nice guy.
Typical to most romance stories depicted in movies, Leyla and Tala don’t really see eye to eye the first time they meet, but because Leyla’s boyfriend is one of Tala’s close friends she decides to make an effort to get to know her. The result? Well… you’ll just have to watch

 

 

2. Imagine me and you

Another lighthearted movie that should be in every single top lesbian movies list. And not just because Lena Headey, the out lesbian and flower shop owner is in it. You may know her as the wine-drinking, manipulative Cercei in Game of Thrones, but here she is Luce, sweet, kind, and incredibly sexy.
Luce meets Rachel at Rachel’s Wedding and Rachel’s husband attempts to set her up with his best man…inviting her to dinner which quickly becomes awkward when Luce reveals that men are definitely not her type.

3. Loving Annabelle

If you’re a ‘forbidden love’ junkie like me, then you’re going to love this movie. Not only is the forbidden love lesbian, it is also a student-teacher relationship. What’s more, it’s quite quotable. Definitely a must-see.

 

4. But I’m a Cheerleader

Before becoming the beloved inmate Nicky in Orange is the New Black, Natasha Lyonne was portraying a cheerleader…who was also a very closeted lesbian. This movie plays heavily on stereotypes, mainly…’I’m a cheerleader, so I can’t be gay!’ So long as you can view this as the comedy and parody it was meant to be, then this is definitely one that will keep you laughing till tears roll down your eyes. Plus…Natasha was so cute when she was younger.. it’s no surprise why she’s so incredibly hot now.

5. The four-faced liar

This lesbian drama centres on a group of 4 friends, a heterosexual couple, a heterosexual male who constantly has issues with is girlfriend, and his very-out-and-proud lesbian best friend. This type of movie will definitely get you thinking about the risks we take in life and the consequences of our actions.

6. Show me love/ Fucking Amal

This Swedish movie is way better than you’d initially think. The girls look quite young so not a movie for those who are only interested in the hardcore scenes (seriously, is that ALL you care about?)
The movie is about Elin, a closeted lesbian in love with the most popular girl in school. But there is a problem, this girl has a boyfriend…and Elin is the least popular girl.

7. The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love

Now I don’t know if it really is a ‘True’ adventure but I do know that it’s an incredible story, and some things will definitely ring as true for most. Also, not only does movie deal with the pressures of a lesbian relationship, but also an interracial one. And if this weren’t enough, Laurel Holloman (the L word) is one of the main characters.

 

8. Elena Undone

This movie holds the longest onscreen kiss in a movie. So if you’re into that kind of thing, then download now! If you need more tempting: it’s about 2 very different women who become fast friends. One who is an out-lesbian and author, and another who is an open-minded pastor’s wife. But Elena starts to realise that she’s falling for her new friend, and that new feelings are emerging which she had never given into before. But how can she ever tell her homophobic and highly religious husband?

9. Nina’s Heavenly Delights

It’s a movie about love, and food. ‘Nuff said.

Also.. look at those faces!

10. Yes or No

This thai movie follows 2 new roommates who are polar opposites of one another. One is tidy, and one is messy, one is a typical tomboy and the other a huge femme. One is an amazing cook, the other can barely make rice. A heart-warming story about accepting your own prejudices and working on them to become a better person…and find love.
Also, if you love the movie as much as you should, there is also a Yes or No 2 🙂
Ps: the movie is available on youtube with English subs.. doesn’t get better than that!

 

If you have any other titles which you loved and think should be in the list, let me know in the comments!