Carmilla – Webseries and Kaitlyn Alexander

Carmilla – a webseries based on the novel of the same name by Sheriden le Fanu. Quite an old novella which speaks about a vampire called Carmilla, who crosses paths with an innocent, very naive and overly protected girl called Laura.

This webseries takes a more modern view of the novel, basing the story in Silas University, where both Carmilla and Laura are students. If you enjoy angst, subtle flirting, a bit less subtle flirting and uber lesbian cuteness – definitely give this webseries a shot.

But the lesbian context of the webseries isn’t my point of this post. My point is a particular character called La Fontaine. This particular character is a clever, savvy science major with a quick mind and a love of dissecting creatures. But more interestingly – this character is non-binary! And is played by a non-binary actor: Kaitlyn Alexander!

The beauty of this story is that when Alexander came out that they’re non-binary, this was translated into the show as well, when another character ‘interrogates’ La Fontaine about which pronouns to use in imaginary situations – which yes can get quite tiring for certain people, but it reflects as well the interest of this cis character in La Fontaine to be sure that she does not misgender them. Thus placing non-binary genders even on the webseries map. I really could not be more thrilled!

Kaitlyn Alexander is very present all over social media, so definitely follow them on twitter, instagram and so on for more non-binary love 😀


Keeping my Identity

One of the joys, and also pains, of knowing open-minded people, is that when you inform those people of your gender then they are more likely to accept you. The price for this acceptance, particularly for those people who don’t understand/never knew about non-binary or genderqueer etc is that they will be asking you questions. Which you should generally answer, because lets face it, at least they’re trying to learn more. And it’s way better to learn from you, rather than from a clap-trap source online.

Recently, I made friends with someone with quite a scientific mind. This means that this person is open minded, but even logical. And as most of us know, gender is not the most logical in the world, it’s a personal experience which we present and express in our own way. But I wanted to try teach this person about gender, because in this person’s field of work, chances are they would meet someone who is gender variant.

The issue is that this person has been following stereotypes. For example, if you like pink then you’re a girl, if you like wearing dresses you’re a girl. If you enjoy ties and fast cars you’re a guy. And then this person got more complicated. This person knew of women who for example: did not like pink and enjoyed playing sports, and so concluded that possibly I was more this way.

Naturally, I explained that no, my hobbies and interests don’t affect my gender, my gender is internal. Yet, this is still something which needs to be explained further.

This got me thinking about my gender and identity. If we look at the stereotypes, women and men generally perpetuate these stereotypes, and even if say, a woman enjoys sports, there’s still something feminine about her. So I started to reevaluate myself.

I evaluated my expression, my hobbies, likes and dislikes. And yes, there are some things which are effeminate, but there are others which are masculine too. However, since I am AFAB then instead of viewing these as masculine, then they merely view it as a sign of lesbianism. Which means that till this day, people still confuse sexuality and gender. And that is not a mentality which is easy to change.

In the end, I once again reached the acceptance that I am, in fact, non binary. Despite my likes and dislikes, the way I express myself, the way I walk and speak. None of that matters, cause my core is non-binary.

The rest is just me expressing myself. 

Historic Gender Identity Law

How many of you know where Malta is?

It’s basically this gorgeous tiny little island under Sicily. Its constitution declares that it’s a Catholic State.

So why am I mentioning it today?

Cause yesterday Malta passed a law called the Gender Identity, Gender Expression and Sex Characteristics Act (GIGESC). This law is groundbreaking on a global scale. So what does this new legislation comprise of?

1. Transgender people no longer need to a) divorce, b) go through sterlisation/surgery or c) be diagnosed with a mental illness to change their gender and name legally on all their documents.

2. For babies born Intersex, parents can put an ‘X’ marker on the child’s birth certificate up to the age of 18! Yes! That means that Intersex people will no longer have to go through invasive surgeries and/or hormone treatments without their informed consent. So when the child is certain of their gender, then they can change their documents. AMAZING

3. Minors who are trans* can ALSO change their documents legally. Naturally, given their young age they would need to be seen by a board of experts, made up a psychiatrist, social worker etc. NOT to classify the child with a mental illness, but to make sure the child is aware of what it wants.

4. No employer can reject a trans* person from employment just because they are trans*. Everyone must be respected, and should this law be infringed then there would be a fine.

To make all this even better, Malta is working on an education policy for schools to become more accepting and understanding of diversity and for become accepting of their peers, but also if they themselves feel that they may be trans*, then they would be given the needed support.

And another cool thing for us non-binary and genderqueer etc folk? Malta is working to get the X marker permanently on legal documents. That’s right. Should this succeed, Maltese people would no longer have to choose to become part of the binary! They can choose to just be listed with an X marker.

This stuff is so cool.


Are Binders Safe?

I think it’s very important that when wearing a binder you’re aware of the risks and therefore follow the proper precautions … ok yes I’m a bore sometimes

anyway I found this article on buzzfeed which i think will be interesting for all you people who bind 🙂


Ticking boxes on forms

So I was thinking, how important is it for people to know our gender? When applying for anything one of the first boxes we have to tick is the one identifying our gender. Or to be more specific, our genitals. Because these questions generally will only have the options: Male or Female. So you’re not asking me for my gender, but for what I have between my legs. The question is, why?

Is it for surveys? Well, knowing my genitals won’t help you there. Because while I may have genitials A, my mindset can be Z….so you cannot really throw me in with everyone else who has genitals A, because their mindset may be A as well.

So why the hell do we need to mark a box which states our genitals? because in today’s world everything has to be gendered. Did you know there are APPLES for girls and boys. Because they cannot POSSIBLY have the same kind of apples. The applies for girls have to be dainty, and boy apples have to be rough and strong I guess.


Start looking around you. Notice these things. Notice how the first thing we notice about a person is whether or not they’re a girl or a boy. How clothing stores have sections for men and women…so I have a vagina I always have to buy sequined shirts as opposed to the shirts in the men’s section?

Our sexual characteristics are given to us by nature, but gender is completely man-made. It’s the perfect example of the human obsession to label things, and put everything into boxes. It’s up to us now to fight that with all our might. Because we can’t be put into a box, and anyone who accepts to be put in one is only missing out on their full potential.

Trans* Sex – The other side of sex

When your sexual orientation is anything other than straight, you already start to feel that you’ll never have sex because you’re never going to find someone who loves you and feels the same way as you./ But when you’re trans* you feel this way much much more. Why? Because the entire experience is different. Imagine you’re a trans* person who has the female genital organs, but you identify more as male, and you’re dating someone who is a cisgender female. You will need to tell her that you don’t want her to penetrate you, and that you prefer being on top because it makes you feel more like a cis man. And that’s just positioning. Then there’s other stuff, like wanting to make your partner orgasm just through grinding. If you’re born with female parts, but you constantly feel that you have a penis (read more on gender dysphoria), then you would want nothing more than to make your partner orgasm with your genitals, hence, grinding.

So what I’m going to say is: don’t be foolish! You will have sex (if you want to). You will find people who will love you for you. Love is meant to be unconditional, which means that if you wouldn’t like to be penetrated, then your partner wont penetrate. Sometimes your partner will find this too hard. They wouldn’t want to change the way they have sex, or maybe the way they enjoy sex is exactly the way you hate it. So you have two options: compromise, or maybe come to terms with that fact that the relationship wouldn’t work out. I’m not saying that sex is the most important factor in a relationship, but if the two partners are sexual beings, then we need to face the facts that sometimes relationships can end because of sex. There’s nothing wrong about that. It’s best to come to terms with this early on, so as not to waste more time.

So anyway, back to sex. There are various ways that a trans* person enjoys sex. So just try new things, try push your boundaries. The important thing is to do it with someone you can trust and feel safe to be vulnerable with. If there’s something you don’t like, speak up. The essential thing in sexual expression is communication. Be open with your partners about what you like and don’t like, and also what you’d like to do to your partner. Sometimes roleplaying and dirty talk can work wonders.

Go Forth and Have Good, Mindblowing, Safe Sex!

New Header

So it’s a sunday here, which is traditionally referred to as ‘lazy sunday’ or ‘sunday funday’… So since I had some time on my hands (which is a very rare occurrence trust me) I decided to stay playing around with some graphics to create a new header.


If you’re an avid follower of this blog (and let’s face it, why wouldn’t you be) … first off, I love you guys, and second, you’d probably have realised that I’m continuously changing the style and colours. I like changing things up once in a while, but I kinda like how it’s looking right now so I think it will remain this way for a while.

As always, if there’s something that annoys you just let me know. I love constructive criticism…while I drown my sorrows in pizza. I think I hear the doorbell………