Religion and Homosexuality

Currently, the main religions of the world (I’m going with Christianity, Judaism and Islam), see homosexuality, and homosexual ‘acts’ as a sin. Each religion has its own way of punishing these ‘sinners’, but the most annoying thing is that people feel that their religion is justification for hurting someone else, regardless of if they are of the same faith.

And even if you are of the same faith, how can that allow you to treat someone else as a lesser human being? Or justify you hurting them?

I’ve studied up on various religions and philosophies, and from what I gathered, the main thing about ‘god’ or let’s just say ‘higher power’ is that this being loves all humans equally and without discrimination. So in that case, how can this higher being then be ok with the way homosexuals are treated?

In all honesty, if you are homosexual and you’re religious too, then embrace it. You are one of the few people who actually understand that your god/higher power does not hate you for being in love. Higher powers will never discriminate against love between two consenting adults.

So if higher powers don’t discriminate against it, why should we? 

What is identity?

Simply put, your identity is everything about you. Therefore, this comprises your sexuality, gender and gender expression. So what’s the difference between them?

Sexuality

Your sexuality involves what kind of people you are attracted to, sexually or just romantically (if you are only ever romantically attracted to someone, then you are asexual, which is a sexuality in itself). It also involves what stuff turns you on. Are you more into traditional stuff, or do you prefer to be more adventurous in that department. This is all personal, and as long as you are not harming yourself or the other person(s) then no one can tell you it’s wrong.

Gender 

This basically means what you identify as. Do you identify as male, female, non-binary, agender (no gender), bi-gender (2 genders), demi or whatever? All are legit. Once again this is private, and honestly, no one has to know your gender unless you tell them. Of course, it can be uncomfortable for people to just take a look at you and label you a gender or the other, but really, it’s up to you whether or not to tell them. Think about your safety first.

Gender Expression

This is basically how you project yourself to the world. For example, you may identify as male, but express yourself in more traditional feminine ways (such as being very sensitive and calming). You could also project yourself in the traditional way, for example, you identify as female and project your gender in traditionally feminine ways.

Other forms of gender expression can involve clothing – so wearing clothes which make you feel like you. 

For trans* and non-binary people who experience dysphoria, our gender expression can help us keep that dysphoria at bay. Because even if we are misgendered, at least with our clothing we are trying to tell the world what kind of people we are. Do we like cute things, or are we more hardcore, do we wear bright colours, or are we more nondescript. Even if you do not experience dysphoria, clothing and body language are the perfect ways to subtly express to people who you are…and if they are attentive, they will pick it up.

So with all of these things (and other stuff, like likes and dislikes etc) comprise your identity. For this reason, no one should look at one aspect of you (say your sexuality) and judge you – because it is not all that there is to you. So if someone actually does judge you because of one aspect of who you are, then they are not worth it. People should get to know your full identity first before they can make a judgement of how nice you are as a person.

Hypocrisy at its Best

I couldn’t help but follow the Duggar Scandal going on. For those of you who (thankfully) never heard of the show ’19 and Counting’, the Duggars are highly conservative, patriarchal Christians. They don’t approve of things like women wearing short sleeves or short skirts, and they definitely do not approve of kissing before marriage. That stuff is just not done. To be sure that nothing like the sort happens, unmarried couples need to be chaperoned… well…

The eldest boy, Josh, got into a bit of trouble a few years back. When he was 12, he sexually assaulted a bunch of girls…including his own sisters. What makes it even worse is that his own parents knew of this and hid it for a few years before realising how disgusting and horrifying they were and reported it to the police.

So why bring it up now? Well, when you’re such a conservative family, who basically declare that everyone else is going to hell, then you wouldn’t really expect for them to not only have a son who sexually assaulted girls, including his own siblings, or to hide it once they found out. What happened to ‘God’ seeing all and judging all?

Another point which I’d like to make is that this family, with all its hypocrisies is fundamentally flawed. First off, the bunch of children they are spewing out is ridiculous. It feels like they made it their personal mission to populate the Earth alone. And with all those children, how much time are you actually using to parent them, to teach them, to listen to them? Or is the focus to hope that god will educate them and show them right from wrong?

Secondly, the exaggerated amount of rules they have for women is insane. So women cannot show their elbows? And why can’t they? Because they’re afraid it would be too much for men to handle and control themselves? That sort of reasoning is one of the various flaws we have in our general thinking, which we can see perpetuated even in schools, where girls are sent home because they are dressed in such a way which would ‘distract the boys’. Which not only tells women that they need to always accommodate men, or that men cannot control themselves ‘cause boys will be boys’, but it also ingrains in them the thought that their education does not matter as much as a boy’s.

So what happened here with Josh Duggar? He was 12, starting to hit puberty, felt sexual urges which no one would discuss with him at home. So he followed those urges. Is this excusable? Definitely not. But his family philosophy is that boys are right, girls are wrong. Boys are superior, girls are inferior. He wanted to touch a girl’s breast? He can trust that breast.

His parents ingrain this superiority complex even more when they choose to protect him to the detriment of their own daughters. Who are also their flesh and blood. No, they’re fine with not tending to their psychological and emotional needs, because they have just been sexually abused, just so that they can protect their prized boy.

This isn’t just a case of a 12 year old boy sexually abusing girls and being inappropriate (to say the least). This is a case which perfectly shows how society allows this to happen by turning a blind eye. Lets face it, the second Kim Kardashian filed for a divorce a mere 72-hours after her wedding, everyone heard about it. But how many heard of this case of a man sexually assaulting women, and how many cared to learn more and criticise the story. Yes, 19 and counting has been removed from the air, but I haven’t been reading many people commenting on the bigger picture. And I have yet to hear people from the conservative community criticising these actions.

Being Valid


  

To be honest, I’m terrible around the LGBTQ community (I’m not going to speak about the I – Intersex part of the community because I’m not intersex).


At first I always put it down as me being awkward around people. Until I realised that I could actually interact with people who were cis or non-heterosexual with ease. I could also interact with people whose gender identity or sexual orientation I was not aware of.


But put me in a room of LGBTQ people and I freeze. I feel awkward. 


Did I look up to them? after all, they were people who came out. I’m out too for the most part, but I would automatically assume that these people came out before me. So maybe I saw them as my heroes, but after spending time with them I would be able to calm down.


That never happened.


I tried joining my local LGBTQI group but I just could never interact. I didn’t contribute with my opinion on issues I could contribute on. So what was going on? 


I didn’t feel *gay* enough. I didn’t feel *queer* enough. And I feared their judgement. 


Was this way of thinking my fault, or theirs? I would say both.


It’s my fault that I feel like I’m not a valid member of the community. I need to learn that the way I feel and express myself are good ways, so long as I’m myself. I need to learn that just because I don’t identify as trans* it doesn’t mean that I’m not non-binary. 


But it’s also the community’s fault for being so aggressive. I can understand the need to fight for one’s rights, to have to justify one’s emotions because the *normal* people can’t get it. But it’s this aggressiveness which makes it so hard for someone to join that community, to say ‘here I am, in all my glory’.


It’s also the community’s fault for not fighting against the stereotypes which they themselves can perpetuate. Am I expected to look and act gay? and is there a point where I become *too* gay or queer to be accepted?


I’ve realised that I could never be part of the queer or pansexual community, and I’ve accepted that. But it’s still a very difficult thing to accept, after all, we’re all looking for our place in this world. 

My family is synthetic

Dolce and Gabbana, pretty popular in the fashion sphere, and have come under fire lately for a comment they made where they referred to children raised by same-sex parents as ‘synthetic’. Sir Elton John, who has 2 children with his husband asked for people to boycott D&G for their comments.

So here’s my take on it.

Children of same-sex parents are not synthetic. That is a ridiculous notion. Anyone who knows biology knows that you need a sperm and an ovum to create a baby, as far as I know, even in IVF practices, both of these are used, and these germ cells (as they’re called) are never just ‘created’ in a lab. That in itself means that the child is not ‘fake’ or ‘synthetic’ as Mr D and Mr G called it.

Following the boycott, where various out parent celebrities joined in, D&G said that what they meant was that they only believe in the ‘traditional’ family and that they can have their opinions. To which I say, of course you do. Freedom of speech is for everyone. But…you still need to be careful about how you say things. Saying that you think children should be raised by a mother and father is very different from calling children raised by same-sex parents ‘fake’. No child is fake. And when science advances enough to allow same-sex parents to BOTH be biological parents of the child, those children will not be fake either. So long as the sex cells are natural, then it doesn’t matter how the baby is formed. But maybe I’m too liberal for D&G.

On another note, while I believe that everyone has their own opinions and are entitled to them, I find it very strange to hear homosexual people speaking against things such as same-sex people getting married and having children. As a homosexual you’re supposed to understand the pain and suffering people in the LGBTQ community go through just because of their sexuality. And if you’re a homosexual, do you really feel that you and a partner of yours would not be suitable parents for a child?

Either way, to each his own.

Ticking boxes on forms

So I was thinking, how important is it for people to know our gender? When applying for anything one of the first boxes we have to tick is the one identifying our gender. Or to be more specific, our genitals. Because these questions generally will only have the options: Male or Female. So you’re not asking me for my gender, but for what I have between my legs. The question is, why?

Is it for surveys? Well, knowing my genitals won’t help you there. Because while I may have genitials A, my mindset can be Z….so you cannot really throw me in with everyone else who has genitals A, because their mindset may be A as well.

So why the hell do we need to mark a box which states our genitals? because in today’s world everything has to be gendered. Did you know there are APPLES for girls and boys. Because they cannot POSSIBLY have the same kind of apples. The applies for girls have to be dainty, and boy apples have to be rough and strong I guess.

Seriously.

Start looking around you. Notice these things. Notice how the first thing we notice about a person is whether or not they’re a girl or a boy. How clothing stores have sections for men and women…so I have a vagina I always have to buy sequined shirts as opposed to the shirts in the men’s section?

Our sexual characteristics are given to us by nature, but gender is completely man-made. It’s the perfect example of the human obsession to label things, and put everything into boxes. It’s up to us now to fight that with all our might. Because we can’t be put into a box, and anyone who accepts to be put in one is only missing out on their full potential.

Finn’s Girl (2007)

URGH. Can I just say that I ADORE THIS MOVIE?

So the story is about Finn (duh) who is a fertility specialist at the local abortion clinic, which used to be run by her wife Nancy, who unfortunately died a year prior due to breast cancer. Finn decided to take on the clinic herself, despite the ever increasingly violent death threats by crazy religious fanatics pro-life supporters. So while Finn is trying to stay alive while still doing her work, her eleven-year-old daughter Zelly is getting into quite a bit of trouble.

The story itself has many layers, which I love. There’s the story of Finn trying to move on from her lover’s death through a casual rebound, which naturally Zelly is not happy with. There’s the story of Zelly, who lost her mother and feels neglected by her workaholic stepmother. Then there’s also the story of the death threats and how Finn’s life is in danger, which helps her realise what is really important in her life.

This movie is simply fantastic. The music is great, the storylines are well paced and it’s an enjoyable watch for both people who just want to relax, as well as those who want a story with substance. My one criticism is that there is a lot of emphasis on genetics. I won’t spoil anything, but Zelly treats Finn differently and says she’s not her ‘mother’, even though Finn raised her along with Nancy. Anyway, when you watch the movie hopefully  you’ll understand what I mean 🙂